Musings Part 3

Just in time for October, and also Hallowe'en......Sure, scary movies are....scary. Yes. We watch one and there goes our eight hours for the night (unless you're fearless and steel nerved and aren't afraid of anything, which might actually be most of you). But it's not always the movies which are scary, but the villains in them, the bad guy/s, who come out at night and kill people and stalk people and make us never want to walk alone at night anywhere, never mind a dark alley or the woods. So who are the best (or worst) of the worst (or best)? In my humble opinion, these ten guys are the best bad guys in cinema. I don't just mean scariest, although most of these guys cut out an hour or two of my sleep sometimes. Whether or not they make their stand in a horror film is beside the point. It's them themselves that give us the creeps. These guys might be the best at freaking us out, but they're the worst. So this isn't about the best horror films or the best horror film villains. This is about the scariest. Who scares you the most?

*note to you: I am known for shying away from horror films especially 'torture porn'. Therefore: you will not find that Jigsaw guy, those people from 'Hostel', and so on. I know there are also some very vile characters out there that I'm leaving out; it's just that I haven't seen the film that they appear in. Sorry if I offended any of you evil doers out there; please don't take it out on me. If I knew you I would add you. Promise.*

Where he's from: '28 Days Later'. Poor, poor apocalypse ravaged England. That would be scary enough.

Why we don't like him: Sure those infected people were scary and gross. But it wasn't the zombies we were supposed to really fear in this film....this was as much a good old horror film about zombies taking over the world but also a horror film about humanity. People can be scum. Worse than scum. Like this guy. He seems nice. He wants to save the world from the infected. He takes in the survivors. He treats them nicely. And then....total 360 turn around. He turns evil. He tries to have Selena and Hannah raped. Doesn't care about anyone but himself, and hardly even his soldiers. He just goes to show us the darker side of humanity, what we could be, what some of us are, what the rest of us hate and refuse to become. He's vile, and scary in his own way. Nice on the outside, but it's only a facade. We think we know him, but oh we are so wrong. If the devil came up to take over someone's soul it would be Major West's. He's absolutely cruel. And positively vile. How frightening to think that there are really people like that out there.

'I promised them women...women mean a future.'

Where he's from: 'Jaws'. Ah, the sea. So wonderful and peaceful and we love it, until something tries to eat us.

Why we don't like him: Seriously, there's a reason people freaked out after they saw this film and refused to go near the beach for quite a while after this film was released. It's not a horror film, but it's very realistic, and perhaps that's even scarier. No chainsaw wielding slashers here, just nature. Really. If you think about it, no one is safe in the ocean. Sharks attack people every year! Forget those sea monsters. Those aren't real. Sharks are. You won't meet Nessie anytime soon, but you'll meet 'Jaws'. Older, mature people might get panicky about the film and the prospect of being eaten by a shark while swimming, but little kids, they'll probably have a phobia of the ocean for the rest of their lives after seeing this. You can't see him coming until he's got you in his mouth. He might be common and only a shark, but once he sees you, there's no hope.

*I can't put a quote because sharks don't talk*

Where he's from: 'Sleepy Hollow'. A sleepy, quite, peaceful town is being terrorized by the icon of horror.

Why we don't like him: Do you remember reading 'The Legend of Sleepy Hollow' in elementary school each Hallowe'en? I do. And I dare you to tell me that the horseman didn't scare you. I never saw Jack-o-Lanterns the same way again. In Tim Burton's masterful vision of this classic story, the horseman isn't just terrorizing people, he's killing them. True, someone is sending him to do it, but he's killing them in some of the most horrible ways. He doesn't have a head, so he'll take yours. He might not have his pumpkin with him (shame), but he's still just as scary. He lurks in the shadows, often only a shadow and not something we can actually see. But this only adds to the fright. We might not see him, but we know he's there. Decked out in black he blends in with the shadows; even that horse of his is creepy. You won't want to go walking in the New England woods alone at night after this, but if you do make your you keep your head and have your wits about you. Might just save your life.

*he doesn't talk so I have no quote*

Where he's from: 'Nosferatu'. Deep in the mountains of Transylvania.

Why we don't like him: Bela Lugosi's Dracula's got nothing on this guy. Sure Orlock looks a little dated and perhaps silly with his long pointed ears and his fingernails which beg for a manicure. But he is Dracula; he came before the famous Legosi film. This is the real story. Instead of looking suave and debonair he looks rat-like and corpse-like. Perhaps closer to the truth; he's not dead, but he's not living. All other vampires look silly compared to him. More disturbing than truly terrifying, he nonetheless sticks on your mind like gum. It's probably because he stands out from other vampires. We don't get ones like him anymore. 'Nosferatu' might be dated and at points unintentionally silly, but there's still enough creepiness there to make our skin crawl today. This film was banned in some countries upon its release because of Orlock and his fright factor. Maybe he won't scare you now, but he did in his own time.

'Blood....your beautiful blood!'

Where he's from: 'A Nightmare on Elm Street'. Some friendly drive in suburbia America....and your nightmares.

Why we don't like him: Ever had a dream come true? I have. I hear it happens because my brain is putting together bits and pieces of everything I've ever seen in the world and it makes up some image or scenario that happens to be true later by coincidence. But imagine if this isn't coincidence, that dreams are powered by something (or someone) else and that dreams are real, and when they come true, they're real. Obviously some of what happens in dreams doesn't really happen while I'm sleeping because I've died in a few of my dreams and I'm still here obviously. But what if some of what happens is really happening? That's what is proposed in this film. We have no control over our dreams a great deal of the time. So what we dream may or may not be some hidden desire of ours a'la Freud. Mr. Krueger is more than scary. He's terrifying. Whether or not he's real doesn't matter here; if he kills you in your dreams, your really gone. Of course, he's a dream, so ultimately you have control over him. And you can end him and your dream just as you can anything else. It's not just the way he looks, with his tattered hat and faded sweater, his scarred and disgusting face and his iconic yet creepy bladed glove (*sccccrrrrrkkkk* think fingernails on a chalkboard are bad?). It's what he does to you when he catches you that's bad. If lack of sleep doesn't kill you, he will. And does he ever really go away? Sure he's disposed of at the end of the film, but it also seems like he comes back. Does he go away only to haunt someone else's dreams? Bad dreams are hard to shake. He's no exception. If he doesn't give you nightmares, no one will. It makes you wonder what dreams really are. And if they really happen.

'One, two, Freddy's coming for you; three, four, better lock your door; five, six, grab your crucifix; seven, eight, better stay awake; nine, ten, never sleep again.' So true.

Where he/she/it's from: 'Alien'. Somewhere deep in space....where no one can hear you scream.

Why we don't like he/she/it (what is it, exactly?): Um, yeah, so crabs and lobsters are no longer a part of my diet. I even stopped eating spaghetti for a few months after seeing this film. In each of its forms, no matter how it looks, this thing is lethal. Literally. Terrifying. It's a mindless killing and eating machine. If you encounter it you're screwed. No matter if it's a hatchling or an adult, you're screwed. It doesn't care who you are. It wants to eat you. Yes, the giant man in a rubber suit looked obviously fake by the end of the film, but you have to go through the whole film before you can get to this thought. It lurks in shadows. It sneaks up on you. You don't know where it is until it's too late. It's got this barbed tail and slime to take you down before it sucks out your brain or turns you into an egg or cocoons you. And if you happen to meet it at a young age it will stick to your face for a few hours, only to leave you with a surprise for later; a baby has been growing in you and this will be your end. The yuck factor on this thing is off the charts. This alien thing gave me nightmares. If you sit alone at night in your home and hear a noise behind you, get out immediately. Even though it might be the last thing you do.

*roar*

Where he's from: 'Psycho'. And his beloved motel in the middle of nowhere.

Why we don't like him: He's a creeper. He has issues. Seriously. But despite his problem I don't see how we can't feel sorry for him. His mother caused his problems, and he suffers from dissociative personality disorder. He's a creeper but this is a result of a mental disability. All the same, he's fond of dressing in his mother's clothes (a mother whom he had stuffed and hid in his basement) and murdering people. He might be sick but you can't get much creepier than him. How could you forget the moment you realized Mother was dead (and had been for some time) and Mother was really Norman? He seemed so nice, a little weird, but nice. And then....he's a murderer, nonetheless. By the end of the film he's completely gone, locked in a mental hospital, overcome by emotion and horror at what he's done, not just to Marion and his mother but everyone. We are both repulsed and horrified and sickened by him, but we also pity him. He might freak us out to the extreme, but he also evokes sympathy and pity from us, even if we won't admit it.

'Mother! Oh, god, mother; blood, blood!'

Where he's from: 'Silence of the Lambs'

Why we don't like him: Tell me. What's to like about him? Oh yes, Anthony Hopkins is legend, and he's absolutely brilliant, really wicked in this film. But the man? He's sly and cunning, and not in a good way, rude and mean, and he eats people. Ewww. And he's proud of it. It takes simple, innocent Clarice to undo him. The creep factor here is beyond the limits. Anthony Hopkins adds such vileness to the man that we are immediately repulsed by him, yet we can't look away. He's absolutely fascinating. Horrible, sick, and demented, but fascinating. How can he get through to someone with concrete walls around her heart and get her to reveal her deepest secrets, evil as he is? What is it about this guy? How can he manipulate people in such a way, and how frightening is it the way he gets into Clarice's mind to get her to tell secrets and stories that she's tried to hide? A vile, despicable man, yet devilishly smart and terrifyingly empathetic. A stranger and scarier yet more interesting man you'll never meet.

'Tell me, Clarice--have the lambs stopped screaming?'

Where he's from: 'The Exorcist'. And hell itself.

Why we don't like him: I really hope there's no one out there that actually likes the devil. Please seek help if you do; I'm not joking. It's not Regan that scares us here; it's the devil inside here and what he does to her. In reality, if you're religious, he's as much a part of everyday life as anyone else, he just doesn't make his presence known as blatantly as this anymore. But in this film...he makes himself known in the most unbelievable ways. Incredibly disturbing? Yup. Never sleep again? Yup. Run to church after watching this and confessing your sins and saying how much you love God? Yup yup. Although I hope you would do that anyways. It's a mark of how cruel and purely evil hell can be, and all who dwell there, what we see in Regan. You might not be afraid of being coming possessed yourself, but if this doesn't put the fear of the devil in you, nothing will. It's painful to watch, the destruction of Regan. It's almost impossible at times, what she goes through. As horrible and simply awful and disturbing it is, nothing scares us more than seeing the devil hold sway over an innocent girl. Or anything, for that matter. I can't think of a more horrible villain that this, really. But this is not a religious education class nor a Sunday sermon. Possessed Regan might be scary, but it's the devil that makes her so. And this is only fiction. Still, she doesn't scare me as much as the he who claims the number one ranking here. At any rate, this film will give you nightmares. What might be even worse, though, is watching Fathers Karras and Merrin try desperately to save Regan, and very nearly failing to do so.

'What an excellent day for an exorcism.' Yes. We'd like that very much. To get rid of you.

Where he's from: 'Pirates of the Caribbean'. And anywhere there's water; note to you: stay on land. And where he is, his godforsaken ship will be also.

Why we don't like him: Um, have you looked at him? Something straight out of your nightmares (and mine too), he's like something only the twisted mind of H.P. Lovecraft would think of. Truly a remarkably written character. He echoes of Lovecraft and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and Captain Ahab. How he was dreamed up I have no idea. But truly, whoever thought of him is very well learned. So not who you thought it would be as number one, huh? Haha. Well, clearly this ranking of the villains is from my point of view. And from my point of view, there's no one has scared me the most or given me the most nightmares as this guy. Just LOOK at him. That's enough to scare you right there. And even though we know as we watch 'Pirates' he's not real, he looks so real and blurs the reality/fantasy line so much that he DOES become real. And not only do you have to deal with him, there's that nasty boat of his and his fish people crew! And did I mention the kraken? Just as bad as him. He's vile. He's cruel. He cares only about himself and his feelings. He'll kill you without a second thought, if you even blink at him. The man is deadly. Not in a good way. Forget about the whole chest buried in the sand thing. He has no excuse in my book for being so vile. Really vile. Vicious and evil. The epitome of evil. He revels in doing very bad things to good people. He probably thinks it's funny. Good for him. I guess you only need to be afraid if you're out on the water, but those fish people friends of his can go on land.....This slimy, disgusting, revolting, vile, bad, bad man tops my list as the scariest and best villain in a film. Probably not your pick. But to me, Davy Jones=instant death and suffering. And did I mention that if he doesn't kill you you get the choice of either turning into a fish too, or part of his nasty boat, or getting stuck in something akin to purgatory for the rest of eternity? Yeah. Sounds great. I am SO never going sailing or swimming in the ocean again.

'Do you fear death?' Not so much it as you....

Don Vito Corleone--it's hard to really hate him, yet he's so sly and steel hearted and just mean when the time calls for it. But he's human, and he's got a soft spot--his family.
Indio--hahaha...a bad, bad man who delights in the suffering of others. A lot like someone else we know....of all the villains in Sergio Leone's film, this man from 'For a Few Dollars More' is the most ruthless and brutal. Yes he has a soft side, but he's really bad.
Ben Wade--he's not really scary, he's just a well crafted villain. Complex and complicated, really one of the best villains I've seen in film. He makes '3.10 to Yuma'. Hard to figure out and cruel and with a blatant evil streak; but is he really that bad?
man--ok, so there's no real bad guy in 'Bambi', and man is only there for five seconds, but tell me you weren't traumatized for ever more when that hunter got Bambi's mom.
Darth Vader--he's not really scary, just intimidating. He's very bad, but he's not completely evil. Not really. And he's more iconic than anything; he doesn't remotely frighten me. Nor is he a very complex guy. And I don't like 'Star Wars'. So he doesn't get ranked.
the T. Rex--'Jurassic Park' ruined the cuddly cute perception of dinosaurs. It wasn't a bad film, but not great, and this guy just isn't as scary as Jaws, because he's been dead for about, more than 50 million years or so?